A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market reading her newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down on the saucer, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the market.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze, gently at first and then ever more firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the coin, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?

“No,” the woman replies, “I.R.S.” (That’s a tax collector, for those outside the USA).

Hell is where the police is German, the chefs British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss and its all organized by the Italians.

Bob asks what the surgery is and the doctor tells him they take the muscles from the base of a baby elephant’s trunk, insert them in the base of his penis, and hope for the best. Bob says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of never having sex again is even scarier, so he says ok. The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and about 6 weeks later he gives Bob the go ahead to “try out his new equipment”.

Bob takes his wife out to dinner. While at dinner Bob starts feeling incredible pressure in his pants. It gets unbearable and he figures no one can see him so he undoes his pants. No sooner does he do this than his penis pops out of his pants, rolls across the table, grabs an apple from the fruit basket, and disappears back into his pants.

His wife sits in shock for a few moments, and then gets a sly look on her face. She says, “That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?” With his eyes watering and a painful look on his face, Bob says, “Probably, but I don’t know if I can fit another apple up my ass.”

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, “Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.”

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, “Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I’m going to jump off, too.”

The blonde opened his lunch and said, ” Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I’m jumping too.”

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman’s wife was weeping. She said, “If I’d known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!”

The Mexican’s wife also wept and said, “I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn’t realize he hated burritos so much.”

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde’s wife. The blonde’s wife said, “Don’t look at me. He makes his own lunch”

Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”

“HELLLOOOO..,” answered the blond. “They’re watch dogs!”

Why is everyone in the Middle-east complaining that the U.S. may have gone to war for oil? Having visited quite a few gas stations now during my time in the USA, I have to say that most of the gas stations here seem to be owned by people either with Indian or Middle-eastern ancestry… I am yet to see a “white guy” in a gas station kiosk since June, 2006. I’m almost certain a lot of the profit from oil ends up in the hands of people who came from where the oil did…

I know, it’s just an amusing thought and not meant in a serious way, but it made me chuckle to myself when I thought it up. :)